MIND YOUR OWN AFFAIRS

 

It does seem that for most of my life i have been very nosy, very concerned with the Joneses. Falling into the drama and the material trap of if i just have this last thing or if i just become this way i will finally be accepted and, well, happy, i guess. I never felt good about this characteristic of mine, just never sat right with me. And yet i continue to peek into the "lives", the goings-on of my so called "competition" and make assessments as to where I must improve myself or change myself or whatever.  

And that stops here. Because i need to mind my own damn business. I need to figure out my own shit, make my own way, on my terms, untainted by the influence of what you think, say or do. Writing it down makes it feel silly, like a common sense no brainer, but to me, it's not silly. Its a necessary step toward ultimate independence and freedom. 

As an artist i was trained to research, make sure no one else is "doing exactly what you're doing" or that what you want to do doesnt already exist somewhere. And i am practicing being finished with that training. It has its place, but in projects, not in my real life. I do not believe any more that i need the outside world to dictate what i do, what i think or what i say or the type of art i create. And turning 50 this year, its about time. 

Minding to my own affairs means to dive even deeper into my own life, my reasons, my beliefs, my art, my purpose and practice doing what makes my soul wake up. Mindfully going about my day,  practicing, at each turn, a new way of becoming exactly what has taken me 50years to figure out. Minding my own business means making choices based on how i feel, how i think about something with little or no input from the outside world.

It means leaving the drama of not good enough and i can do it better and oh i totally suck behind. it means being vigilantly authentic in every action and choice and move i make. It means keeping true to my soul, my purpose - which can change daily - but whose foundation is built on the thibgs i have released and am still practicing to release. The things that no longer serve you can only be noticed, observed and released when one hets super real and honest and authentic about who they are. 

The other part of this practice is keeping most of the information to myself, not bragging. Not sharing. Not trying to sway or change someone. Not saying something for talking sake but choosing what to say and how to say it with absolute purpose, mindfulness, compassion and love behind it - without forgetting my authentic self. Thinking authenticaly and actually BEING authentic are totally different. One is action, one is merely fleeting wishes. I am learning that not everyone deserves (or will hear) to know everything about me. Who cares anymore if they assume or misunderstand withput all the info - because even when i did spill my guts, they still didn't understand and assumed wrong. No one really cares anyway. They really truly don't. And that's okay. 

So, as i spill my story on this blog, I am also practicing the Art of Shutting up, which is directly related to and influenced by the Art of Living authentically. I honor your space, your soul, but i am keeping mine to myself, at least thats the plan. Here's hoping i can keep my mouth shut long enough to create an authentic, soulful and meaningful life. Namasté 

Minding your own business is now a way of life. The way of my life. 

Wish me luck.