OFFLINE

For some time now I have debated going completely offline. To be done with the social media constructs that have gotten so far from their purpose and rarely brings me joy. I constantly tell myself, do more of what brings you joy. I tell others this too. Nothing about social media brings me joy anymore. It has become nothing more than an addiction - worse than any kind I have encountered.

FOMO. The Fear of missing out of lies, personal as well as political agendas, the lack of truth in information, the falseness of humans and the sheer amount of it all has me at a crossroads. I do not fear missing out. I used to. Big time. I used to think missing out would make me feel alone and unnecessary. Turns out the opposite is actually the truth of whats happening to me. 

I feel more alone and more scrutinized and less valued as a human. Business purposes aside, I am taking a vow of silence from social media, indefinitely. I don't need to explain suffice it to say I am just tired of it all. When I get tired of other things in my life, i let them go and start something new. And this is what I must do for my own sanity.

I want a life that is free from falseness. I want a life that is of my own imagination rather one that is influenced by those whom I do not know, nor care to know. I want my life to be about truth and realness and love and nature. I have found none of those things online.

I have books that are begging to be read. I have projects that require all of my time and brain power. I have healing and clearing to accomplish. I do not think any social media construct will provide that for me. Not anymore. I used to think that way - that I would be able to connect with like minded people and make an impact. I still do, but I am focused now on what's in front of me - and it's not a computer screen.

When I went into massage, my reason was because I didn't want to spend my time in front of a machine all day. But it's worse than I thought. I am in front of a screen all day. It follows me everywhere I go and I am a slave to it. I waste more of my life online than anywhere else in my existence. It makes me sad, angry, depressed and never good enough. I don't need social media for that, I have been practicing ditching those things for decades only to find now, it's worse than ever.

JOMO. I have entered the Joy of Missing out Phase of my life. I look forward to waking up and not giving a shit about things completely out of my control. Which, is basically everything except what I eat and how I take care of myself. I look forward to spending my time in my own head instead of trying to figure out someone else's motives or even trying to understand someone else anymore.

Going offline will be my experiment and my challenge, moving forward. Because moving forward is where I am going. Step by step, minute by minute. Why I feel the need to even write a blog post about this seems silly, but it is a way to get these thoughts out of my headspace and my drowning spirit.

People have survived centuries without "knowing everything". And I will now find my place among them now. My community is the world right in front of me - my husband, my pup, my family, the people who have my personal contact information, the trees, the sticks and the stones, the moon and the sun. Real connections. Real life. I no longer have a desire to impress, impact, influence or fit in. 

When you find out, 

whats worth keeping, 

with a breath of kindness, 

blow the rest away.

Take care. Thank you. I love you. 💛