leaving social media: Attempt 005

I don't belong online for hours on end. I have a life that I want to live. That I want to explore. That I want to love. 

But that damn social media addiction. I spend way too much time on it talking of Living simple, raising your vibration, of Ayurveda. And not enough time practicing it. I don't blame social media, I have addictive qualities. I know this. 

So here we go. I have made attempts to leave SM before but like an abused dog, I always find my way back. Why? Why do I come back? 

Reasons i went back:

Want to share - ie deep down want someone to like me

FOMO -  fear of missing out on "what's happening"  

Seeing what "they" are doing

I got bored 

My truth is:

I like secrets

I like showing off

I want to be liked

I also don't care what others are doing

I also used to love competition, and now I want anonymity. Or do I? 

I want to spend a year doing my life, my way, with no influence from anyone, not even pinterest, making, building, taking photos and keeping that whole year to myself - to become a mystery- and see how long it takes (if ever) for someone to come looking for me. 

I want privacy. It's a very alluring concept and I wish to explore what that could feel like. 

No phone. 

No internet. 

No television. 

No movies. 

No social except my practice. 

Only being in my head with my books and art and sticks and stones and glue. 

I shall make everything around me beautiful, and that shall be my life. Without social media, it's constructs and algorithms and boundaries and those who do not get me. 

And when I create, it shall be for me. In private, in solitude and with immense joy. 

Peace out ✌🖤